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Thursday 4 October 2007

The reason for reason

Sometimes it becomes increasingly difficult to reason the reason for reason. How can one judge a film, a piece of art, a sculpture, a building or any other creation? Who decides what is good or bad? Mostly, the basis for one's standpoint is his minds association with various other similar works. Considering that all strands of thought flow from a common universal consciousness, it is only a persons association with the subject which leads him to decide whether the creation touches him or not. I've many times seen it happening to myself. I would hate a film, whine for hours because I could not connect with it, see everyone else calling it a great piece of art, go see it again, same disconnected feeling again, finally letting go of it to flow in my sub-conscious. This leads me to reason that all of us are made up of our associations and conditioning. That is what we are, without them we are zero. They define us, they make up our being .... 

Show a very artistic jungle boy a great da vinci painting and he is sure to admire it for the fineness with which the wood of the frame has been cut and polished. He may even make a very nice colourful shirt of the canvas and use the wood to decorate his cave door. How can one judge a film? I personally feel that it is absolutely killing to judge any creation. Although I still struggle at various times in trying not to criticise, give my own opinion, show off a bit of my knowledge pool and tell everyone how cool I am, but I hope to crystallize my conviction of not judging anything and anyone for that matter. Here, another thought comes to my mind. In the process of forcing myself to do something something, do I drive myself away from what I naturally do. Do I go even further from being free. Its almost like another layer of pointless thought on the present layer. This is where my mind fucks itself up and gets lost in endless circles. 

What is the point really? I dont want to reason (shit! another thought), I will try not to (its still a thought), I'll be free and try to naturally negate my current thought process (IT IS STILL A THOUGHT OVER THOUGHT OVER THOUGHT AND ONE DAY YOU'LL BECOME A SEDIMENTARY ROCK)...... (no thought)  

Tuesday 2 October 2007

The beginning of the beginning..

I search and I search but I have still not found a place on earth to call mine. I'm really a confused ghost trying to figure out what life is all about. At the end of the day, everything seems so fuzzy and blurry and pointless. But there are times when there is reason, those are the times when I loose myself in those thoughtless moments, when everything seems real, when I myself become more aware. But  these moments just flicker by, leaving me breathlessly waiting for the next one. Is death the answer? Or is enlightenment? Or life is just perfect as it is and I'm just a victim of my own conditioning,  trying to look for 'something else' when I already have 'something'. Whatever it is, I will never know. All I know is that there is something which keeps me going, like a feed from the collective consciousness of the universe. I was born to live and I will live to die. But I am born and I will live. This is the beginning. The beginning of the beginning..