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Tuesday 22 April 2008

My Life, Experiences & Dexter's Laboratory

I keep wondering about influences which have shaped my life and conditioned me into what I am today and what I will be. The first dimension of my character comes from Dexter and his Laboratory minus the sister. The amazing laboratory with gadgets and gizmo's, the big screen, the humungous super computer screen, the big keyboard, robot assistants and many other interesting things caught the imagination of a 12 year old who was always on the lookout for doing something or the other to get recognised, to do something, something big, something of note. In Dexter, he saw a possibility. My 12 year old self staring at his TV screen and wondering how he can build a lab just like that where his mom and dad and the whole extended family would come and give him a pat on the back. No notions of saving the world or anything but just pure want of being accepted. 

I still wonder that at that age, how on earth did the want of being accepted get in my head.

There was so much which one could have done. Stuff like dreaming, going treasure hunting in my friends garden, lounging around the whole day without a thought in the head or guilt in the heart.
All of which I did do, but wish I could have done it more and moreover eliminate the idea of acceptance. Maybe, I can just blame on television, movies and parental competitiveness. But its amazing to see how life shapes up, one event affecting the other in such a way that sometimes I wonder what would I have been if my mother would not have compared me to another kid. Many such trivial events, which I'm trying so hard to trace, have really resulted in me being me. Its so scary that I question the existence of my 'self' many times. 

Getting back to my influences,

Dexter is sure in me somewhere
, my decisions, my life, my experiences have somehow been affected by my love of the character. Another one in the category is this one called Johny Bravo, wonder why the geek in me then chose to relate to him, the elvis haired well built hulk who always had a bad time with the women, <--- guess it explains itself better now. Its amazing how I realise so many things after actually writing them down, wonder where that came from, maybe my obsession to cram up things by always writing them down when I was young. And thats why I write this blog apart from many other reasons, maybe even the suppressed want to be accepted which still lurks around that head of mine trying to get some time off my conscious mind.

Anyways, I cant really think of any more influences now. And

I'm really trying to go low on my mental masturbation
. So, I better get down to work, now that I've drained myself a little. Another question to thin air, how did people who did not know how to read or write or even think, people who were purely instinctive? I wonder